Many women have an extremely stressful time trying to get pregnant. If this is you, then you are certainly NOT ALONE in your fertility journey!
When a child is seen as the next logical and emotional step in a relationship or a marriage, but the pregnancy tests keep coming back negative time after time, then it is entirely natural to start feeling anxious, nervous and stressed at the thought of perhaps never being able to ‘achieve’ that next step – at least not in the way that was initially planned.
To add to the stress, women today are often equal contributors at home. I have spoken to many women who panic about the added stress that work may be causing on body, mind and spirit when there are doubts about or issues with fertility. In addition, many women ‘wait out’ their time in stressful, unsatisfying jobs in order to be able to benefit ‘one day’ from that all-important maternity pay.
Suddenly, your whole future may seem to depend upon this thing that may or may not happen. You may not even SEE a future if it doesn’t happen, whereas only a couple of years earlier, you never really thought about it that much!
In Vitro Fertilisation
As the frequently perceived necessity of IVF looms closer and closer, it can cause even more stress to the mind and body.
Many women do not fully ‘believe’ in IVF but see it as the only option – and even then, only if funding can be arranged (another stressful waiting period…)
Others begin to have conflict with partners about the possibility of adoption (one partner is all for it, the other will not consider it), or argue about a perceived resignation by one partner, to having no child at all “let’s just accept it, it’s not going to happen.”
At this stage, it is normal to begin to lose touch with the reasons for wanting a child in the first place! Should I be a mother at all? Why did I even want this for myself?! Ohh., but why isn’t it happening for me?! Is this some sort of karma for that morning-after pill I took when I was 17?
Family members, friends, even acquaintances can all become part of the equation as there is more and more focus on getting pregnant. It’s almost as though it were the be all and end all of marriage, or a key definition of ‘success’ in a relationship.
The Stress Factor in Fertility
One of the most important issues in fertility (yet one that is not talked about anywhere near enough), is that the more urgently and intensively you try to get pregnant, the more stress you put on your reproductive organs and on your body as a whole.
Strong negative emotions (such as those related to things like; feeling a failure; staying in a horrible job to wait for the maternity pay-off; being pressurised by others to ‘conform;’ or putting life and other plans on hold whilst waiting for pregnancy) lead to the brain sending out a host of danger signals to the rest of the body, which then lead to physiological changes that can hinder fertility – whether there was an underlying physical problem before that, or not.
It is almost as though in trying so hard, and in beating oneself up so much, a very stressful environment results both inside and outside of the body. This stressful environment is perhaps not ideal for that little child in spirit waiting to come into the world!
The Psychological Factor in Fertility
Stress has many, far reaching physiological results – but it initially comes from a certain psychology and way of thinking. It comes from ceaseless worrying, from frustration, self-loathing, pressure to perform and many other emotional roots. Sometimes, you may not be aware of how deep the roots actually go and the connections that exist between them. You may not even be aware that you ARE stressed!
For example, many partners are triggered into childhood wounds from small things that happen during this time of trying to get pregnant – a first negative test may trigger a fear of failure that began at primary school; a partner’s reaction to an earlier pregnancy may have reminded you of a negative character from childhood or adolescent years; a miscarriage may have stirred feelings of not being able to cope which began in your toddler years, or a friend’s strange reaction to hearing about your decision to have a child may have worried you into thinking that you’re doing the wrong thing (possibly not an unfamiliar feeling).
When you allow STRESS to dominate your time trying to conceive, you may be causing unnecessary blocks in your reproductive system. These blocks can be uncovered and ironed out during therapeutic work, helping you to feel more relaxed and able to enjoy this special and unique time in your life.
The Therapy Factor in Fertility
I am currently offering blocks of therapy sessions focused purely on fertility.
We will explore only the issues related to this topic, using specific dialogue processes to uncover anything with roots in the past that is negatively affecting your fertility. Often, purely coming to an awareness of these blocks, triggers and connections can help to open something up in you and enable you to resolve your doubts and fears. I will of course, make suggestions to help you do this.
The therapy sessions are designed to help you through your fertility struggles by focusing on Mind, Body and Soul together over the course of 6 weeks. I will guide you through meditations and visualisations, work on reflex points on your hands and feet to help stimulate reproductive organs, use reiki and aromatherapy with appropriate essential oils, and dialogue with you to help you to understand any psychological blocks that no longer need to be there for you during your personal journey towards becoming a mother.
This period of time can feel extremely lonely. Therapy provides a safe and confidential space for you to discuss your feelings, offload your doubt and fears, and connect back with yourself in a comfortable environment – free from judgment.
The sessions will run as follows:
- Introductory questionnaire – sent by email from me to you – questions to get you thinking and reflecting on your pregnancy journey so far
- First meeting (1 hour) – reflexology session with reiki – working on your hands and feet to aid the release of toxins and relax the body – followed by breathing exercises to do at home
- Second meeting (2 hours) – dialogue session – uncovering and exploring psychological blocks
- Third meeting (2 hours) – meditation followed by dialogue session – relaxing mind, body and soul – connecting with blocks and delving deeper – followed by exercises to do at home
- Fourth meeting (1 hour) – aromatherapy or reflexology session with aromatherapy gift
- Fifth meeting (2 hours) – meditation followed by dialogue session – relaxing mind, body and soul – resolving blocks, finding a way forwards
- Sixth meeting (2 hours) – dialogue conclusion and feedback session followed by reflexology with reiki
There will be altogether 10 hours of face to face therapy over the course of 6 weeks, plus you will be given relaxation exercises and meditations to help you between our sessions. The cost of this therapy package is €400.00 meaning that two of the hours are entirely free of charge. Therapy sessions in Galway City (Mary Street) or Abbeyknockmoy (between Athenry and Tuam).
For those not living in Galway or surrounding counties, talking therapy combined with meditation is also available via Skype. I offer this package as 6 hours of talking therapy (starting with you filling in the questionnaire) for €250 (the first hour is free).
If you would like to work with me, you can contact me by clicking here. I offer a FREE 15 minute consultation via phone, Skype or face to face in Galway, for anybody that would like to discuss the therapy package or blocks to fertility in general.
Alternatively, if you would prefer to take action straight away, then you can sign up through PayPal below. After signing up, please email me with your name, preferred times and location (Galway, Abbeyknockmoy or Skype) each week. I will get back to you within 24 hours with your questionnaire and a time slot for your first appointment.
I really look forward to working with you, and getting you closer to your dream of becoming a mother.